whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
