In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
