hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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