In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
