Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
