he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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