if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
