Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize