the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
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we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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