There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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