I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
