I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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