Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
a search helicopter?!
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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