I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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