Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I can't turn off my feet"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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