Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I woke up under a house in Key West
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
