I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Found your dick twin last night
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
