): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
