I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
