I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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