If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
