yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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