why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
