honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
nutella sex= disaster
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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