and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
