we're blogging at a bar
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
