somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize