think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Well I just put wine in my tea
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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