How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
