I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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