If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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