Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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