YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
