drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
