can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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