i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
