your thong is hanging out like whoa
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
