I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
