CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
