Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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