I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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