I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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