so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
