I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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