very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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