I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
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Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
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I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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