Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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