Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
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