I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
