just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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