Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
