We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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