Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
