just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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