I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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