Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
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We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
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sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? π€ I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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