I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I didn't notice because vodka
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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