ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
