Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
