Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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